wow, i just realized that it's been a week and it's still the same guy i might end up talking about in this digression that i have
he called me at the height of his drunkenness one night and his friends mentioned indeed that of all the women he got involved with, he'd end up calling me which is ... weird. why? because i'm a quick return of investment after i have divulged in the past that i saw myself one time being with him for the rest of my life? shit! i totally regret saying that now, especially NOW
fuck that shit! he never deserved me all along. my boyfriend may have been a complicated person with issues all over the place but by now, i am rest assured that he loves me. he still does to this day and we're already a month old in the relationship
just when i thought it would be my final one-night-stand, it turned out to be the kind of relationship that i see myself getting into and enjoying at the moment. damn it! he's everything i ever wanted to have in a boyfriend. he's everything i would love to be when i am down and lonely. he's ... everything to me that i have always needed
he has issues (men often do) but at least we get to talk it over. we don't keep secrets from each other because i know he's the jealous type of guy and i don't want to agitate that idea further. seems like he has trust issues but it's one thing i could manage to handle at the moment. he knew of my past life as the type who slept around (heck! i had a sex life outside the confines of home back in the province). and i can't blame him if he'd have trust issues with me
yeah yeah my fault. and i'm doing everything i can to keep him. to keep this relationship. to keep us together and make it for keeps.
i love him